The "talk"

I had the "talk" with Evan today. No, I didn't tell him about the birds and bees, although that conversation is coming soon, I'm sure. Matt's in charge of that one.

Today I told Evan that he has Asperger's Syndrome.

It's funny, because over the years its not one of those things Matt and I thought a lot about. We felt that the discussion shouldn't be forced and that we'd know when the time was right. In the meantime, time went by and all of a sudden he was 9 years old and we'd never told him.

Now mind you, Evan is completely aware of the fact that he is different. He knows that he has difficulties focusing on things other than super heroes and selected animals. He knows that he has trouble dealing with his anger and anxiety. He knows that schoolwork takes longer for him to complete than most of his classmates. Come on, he's the one living it.

He knows about the extra support at school, the medications, the fact that he goes to Dr. Kessler regularly and Bennett doesn't. All of those things together just never had one name ... one source. Until today.

The moment came spontaneously and I knew instantly that it was the right time. We were talking about something related to his anxieties and Evan was in a sweet, receptive mood. So I dove in. I talked with him about the ways he is different from other kids, both the blessings and the challenges. I told him that when he was born, his brain was made a little bit different than most people and that this wasn't necessarily a bad thing, just different. I explained that all of these things together are called Asperger's Syndrome.

At first he thought I was saying a bad word. Classic Evan. After that, he reacted exactly the way I expected that he would, which is "oh, okay." He wasn't surprised or sad about it, the name just provided a little more information and framework to what he already knew to be true about himself. Again, no judgements, just facts. I asked if he had any questions and he didn't, so I told him that Daddy would probably want to talk with him about it a little bit sometime and that I wanted all of us, including Bennett, to sit down and read a couple of books about Asperger's together later this week. Sounded great to him and off he went.

My favorite part was when Evan looked me right in the eye and said, "I like being different." Man, I am so in love with that kid. Thank you, God, for your perfect timing.