Thomas Merton's Prayer ... and mine

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"

Turning this thing around

I feel like I'm hunched over a huge steering wheel, using all my arm and back strength to crank the wheel desperately to the left so that I can change my semi truck's momentum and start heading a different direction. It's exhausting, the effort may fail (can you say crash, rollover, destruction?) and I'm not even sure what the new direction is. But I'm committed to the change and I pray that God will strengthen me to keep cranking on the wheel - or maybe even take over the whole thing. After all, what's the point of having a savior if I don't let myself get saved?