1 NT + 1 Aspie = 5

I'm finding it hard to write about Asperger's every day and find an appropriate balance of tone. I want to be real about the added stresses and emotional/physical fatigue that comes with parenting an "aspie" kid. I don't want to be melodramatic and make out like every moment in our home is tortuous.

It's kind of like this - one day I described my relatively normal, happy childhood in a household of five children to my therapist. Her response was that a big family was nice to be part of. I agreed. She asked me why we'd chosen to have only two kids, then. I told her that it feels like I already have five kids and I know that I couldn't handle more.

Anyway, life with an aspie kid is just like life with a "neurotypical" kid, just different. Having both an aspie and an NT kid, I see the differences and the similarities. The hardest part for me is not having a good view into the way Evan's mind works. I truly believe that he views the world very differently than I do and I'd give almost everything to understand that. My hope is that as he gets older, he'll be able to explain it to me so that I can help and encourage him more effectively.

Another example. There's an older kid at school that somehow Evan has come to see as a bully. Here's the interchange that we had today after school:

Evan: A few days ago that bully kid told me to stop staring at him.
Me: Do you stare at him?
Evan (always honest): Yes.
Me: Do you stare at him a lot?
Evan (again, always honest): Yes.
Me: Why?
Evan: I just do.
Me: Would you like it if someone was always staring at you?
Evan: No.
Me: Maybe you should stop staring at that kid.
Evan: Yes, okay.

My point in this is that I'm not sure exactly how to handle this, because I can't truly see where Evan is coming from and he can't accurately describe it to me. Is the kid really a bully or is he just creeped out because Evan keeps staring at him? Or is he mean and Evan just stares at him out of fear or anger? I can't get a clear answer.

The good thing is that I know somewhere in his heart, Evan knows what's right. But his mind doesn't always connect with his heart when he's locked into something ... like the fact that he's decided that kid is a bully.

Sigh. Okay, I'm done rambling for now. Happy Friday!!