Autistic need support, not pity

I got this article from an AS mailing list that I'm on and I think it's wonderful. The author does a great job of expressing one point that I've always believed - a continued focus on a "cure" isn't as important as helping autistic kids and their families know how to navigate and thrive in a neurotypical world. Plus, she quotes T.S. Eliot, so she's got to be fabulous!

Anyway, it's so important to really listen to those who are actually living out autism everyday as adults. I'm all for autism acceptance! -Natalie


Autistic need support, not pity
By LIZZY MILLER
lizzy.miller@ centre.edu

T.S. Eliot was right: April is the cruelest month.

So maybe the lilacs haven't bloomed yet, and maybe any dead land in the area has turned into mud by now, but the principle is the same: April is one of the most unintentionally cruel months of the 12.

It's Autism Awareness Month.

I, for one, am acutely aware of autism, and I don't need a special month to think about it, because I am autistic.

I am one of the autistic adults that the president of Autism Speaks - an "organization" that despite its name doesn't employ autistic people or allow their input - swears up and down don't exist.

I am one of the autistic adults who spent much of her youth being bullied for her differences. I am fortunate that the only abuse I suffered was at the hands of my peers. Many autistic people today are still hospitalized against their will simply for being autistic. They often are forcibly restrained and suffer electric shocks in hopes of being "cured."

I am one of the autistic adults who is fortunate enough to have been born into a loving, supportive family that did everything in their power to teach me the coping skills I needed to function in a neurotypical world. Many parents of autistic children teach them that what they are is inherently bad early on. Some of them end up killing their own children and get applauded for their "acts of mercy." These
parents tend to face drastically lighter prison sentences than parents who harm their neurotypical children, if they're convicted at all.

I am one of the autistic adults who is proud to be fighting for the autism acceptance movement.

"Autism awareness" is not a laudable goal. Awareness is cheap. Anybody can put a puzzle piece magnet on his car and call himself "aware." Being aware and accepting of autistic people as people instead of puzzles takes more effort.

Many 'flavors' of autism

It's impossible for me to speak for all autistic people on most issues. Autism is a spectrum disorder, meaning there are as many flavors of autism as there are autistic people. There are, however, a few things that I feel safe to say on behalf of the one in 166 people who have been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder.

Do not pity us; it accomplishes nothing but harm. Help us by listening to us. Even those of us who don't or can't speak have plenty to say; we simply need to be given the opportunity. Don't pretend to know what's going on in our heads if you've never even bothered to ask.

We are not puzzles; we are people. We are not broken; don't fix us. There aren't neurotypical people trapped inside us, waiting to be unlocked. We're just like you already, except we experience the world differently.

Oh, and watching "The Rain Man" doesn't count as research.

That said, I fully support therapies that genuinely help autistic people function in our neurotypical society. It's just that attempts to "cure" us by making us just like everybody else are misguided at best. The only thing autism "cures" accomplish is teaching autistic people to act neurotypical while believing that they are broken.

As Eugene Marcus, an autistic writer, says, "the person who believes 'I will be real when I am normal' will always be almost a person, but will never make it all the way."

I am real, and I am normal. I'm just not neurotypical.

Now can we please move on to fighting real epidemics?

Lizzy Miller is a spring semester intern at The Advocate.
Copyright:The Advocate-Messenger 2008