Special needs kindergartener "voted" out of class

Very few things cause me to get truly angry. Annoyed, irritated, bugged - oh yes. But true anger is not something that is in my everyday emotional spectrum.

However...

If you want to see me angry sometime, just do something to hurt or humiliate one of my children. Then you will come eye-to-eye with a mother bear the likes of which you haven't seen before.

I came across a story online just a few minutes ago that doesn't involve either of my boys, but ... close enough. It could have been. It could be someday. There but by the grace of God go I. And I'm pissed. (Having been raised by my mother that use of the word "pissed" is possibly even more vulgar than the "f" word, you know where I'm coming from.)

Have you seen this yet?

I can't tell you the rage I felt when I first heard about this. Regardless of the child's behavior in the class, diagnosis or lack of diagnosis, this never should have happened. What child wouldn't be emotionally scarred by having to stand in front of the class, hear all of the things his classmates didn't like about him, and experience the process of being voted out of the class? That's not bad judgement on the part of the teacher, it's just cruel.

When I learned that Alex likely has Asperger's, the rage continued to build. Didn't she know that the child's behavior problems were likely coming from a physiological source? Hadn't she met with the mom and talked about options for helping him control and redirect his behavior? Having lived the pain and difficulty of mainstreaming Evan over the past few years, I know that it's not simple. But his teachers have embraced him and his difficulties with grace, while working to ensure dignity for Evan and a quality environment for the other kids.

My exploding point came from reading innumerable posts on blogs and comments on news websites in support of the teacher. These posters consistently referred to special needs kids as retarded, abnormal, not appropriate in a class of "normal" students and, my personal favorite, IT. Not him or her. IT. Here's a lovely sample:

"If they have special needs and are retarded they aren''t learning anyway, get rid of them."

I know that is ignorance and stupidity and selfishness and hate. But it hurts anyway. It hurts for my beautiful, intelligent, emotional, loving son who faces social and emotional and cognitive barriers every day that we can't even imagine.

I just pray that little Alex and his family will find encouragement and grace and peace in the midst of this horrible situation. I know people are writing to the school principal and the district and the state and the principal's mom (!!) about this and I'm all in favor of that.

But I'm even more in favor of writing to Alex and his mom with a card or letter or e-mail of encouragement. They need to be overwhelmed by the fact that there are truly good, loving people in the world after they have faced such hate. If you get a chance, send Alex a quick note.

Alex is Special
c/o Barbara Curtis
15648 Britenbush Ct.
Waterford, VA 20197
supportalex@treasurecoast.com

While we've been away - the mini version

Just when you think life can't get more complicated, one day you wake up and get a phone call telling you that one of your best friends needs an emergency liver transplant. That day, your husband gets on the plane and heads up to San Jose. After hours and days of prayer and worry and prayer a donor liver is found and the surgery goes well. Then you get on a plane and briefly cross paths with your husband and spend a week trying to be a support. You get home and dive into life while trying to support your friends long distance. Then you realize that your special needs kid needs a new medication because the one he's on, while effective, has packed on the pounds almost overnight and could be potentially dangerous. So, you start over with a new medication but that one doesn't seem to be effective and the options are slim after this. Okay, I'm done because this is the mini version.

Glad to be back!
Natalie