Thursday, July 31, 2008

On the nightstand: Ruthless Trust

You have to read this book. Randomly last Christmas I bought Matt the book "Ruthless Trust" by Brennan Manning. Having loved his books that I'd already read, I assumed that I couldn't go wrong with this one. Fast foward to several months later as Matt and I found ourselves both struggling with the same spiritual issue: trust.

No joke, I had just said out loud, "I'm done. I don't think I can handle one more thing" when we got the call that Matt's best friend (who lives in NoCal) was experiencing liver failure and would need an emergency liver transplant. Guess who had to handle one more thing ... and more? After coming this close to death at age 43, Kevin's recovery has been rocky but on the right road and we are so grateful that we have the chance to enjoy more of life with our friend.

You'd think that Kevin's miraculous recovery would have strengthened our trust, and I suppose in some ways it has, but it has also been an intense reminder of how life can change in an instant. And that is scary. And do I really trust God with everything?

This book has been such an encouragement and a learning process for both of us about how God transforms us through "true and radical trust." Matt started reading it a month ago or so and I just joined the bandwagon last week. Here's just a sample - I don't have anything else to add but "Wow" and "you've got to read it."

"Uncompromising trust in the love of God inspires us to thank God for the spiritual darkness that envelops us, for the loss of income, for the nagging arthritis that is so painful, and to pray from the heart, 'Abba, into your hands I entrust my body, mind, and spirit and this entire day - morning, afternoon, evening, and night. Whatever you want of me, I want of me, falling into you and trusting in you in the midst of my life. Into your heart I entrust my heart, feeble, distracted, insecure, uncertain. Abba, unto you I abandon myself in Jesus our Lord. Amen.'

"In the arc of my unremarkable life, wherein the victories have been small and personal, the trials fairly pedestrian, and the failures large enough to deeply wound me and those I love, I have repeated endlessly the pattern of falling down and getting up, falling down and getting up. Each time I fall, I am propelled to renew my efforts by a blind trust in the forgivenss of my sins from sheer grace, in the acquittal, vindication, and justification of my ragged journey based not on any good deeds I have done (the approach taken by the Pharisee in the temple) but on an unflagging trust in the love of a gracious and merciful God."

3 comments:

6-FE203s said...

I read this book a few years ago, but you've inspired me to pick it up again. After reading the passages, it's apparent I've entirely forgotten every bit of it. It seems as if I'm so often grasping at truth, hanging on by my fingernails, and then letting it slip away. Thanks for the reminder to keep grasping. -Lisa

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a great book. I wish I would have found it during the infertility days. But will need to pick it up sometime and check it out. Thanks for the heads up.

NatMatt said...

Yes, I hope you both read it - and anyone else out there! I'm sure I'll be reading it again and again.

I guess the bottom line is that God is WORTHY of our trust even though no one else is, even ourselves. It doesn't mean that nothing bad or hurtful will happen, just that he will be with us and is powerful enough (all powerful!) to turn the scraps I make of my life into something beautiful eventually (ah, the other big struggle - patience). That kind of trust is HARD for us, but produces an amazing freedom when we let go.